Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Sloan's Tuesday

Hello all!

Gather 'round little and not-so-little ones, as you dear friend prepares to reference a story to you!
Reference?, you say
... Don't you mean tell?
Sadly, no, I mean reference.
But look on the bright side: it takes me less time to write, and you less time to read :D
Which time is taken up with you explaining it to us. :P
Yes, well you were the one who interrupted this story reference with your questioning, so I see no reason to be tongue sticking. Now, once upon a time....

Sloan and Jenkins were shooting the breeze on a regular Tuesday night, as they so often do on Tuesdays.
Soon after engaging in shooting the breeze, it became apparent that there was nothing coming of it, as the breeze is so hard to shoot; besides, they were running out of ammo.
So, they decided to do the next most nonsensical thing.
And what may that be? you ask,
rolling your eyes at my
cheesy quips.
Why, snail race of course!
Ah, yes, you say,
your mind going back
to the last good snail race
you remember from childhood.
So, Jenkins and Sloan bring out their prized snails, Jerry Jr. and Teddy, respectively, and set them on the snail track (which is conveniently by the breeze-shooting range)
The race starts!
and ends.
Thank you for being so brief..., you say,
exasperated with me,
wanting to hear the end.
Well, you know how it ends! Besides, this was just a ref-
Wait, how am I to know the end?! you say
You're the one telling the story!
Referencing you mean.
Yes, that. How am I to
know how your referencing
ends? you quest.
By seeing what its referenced to.
Oh... then reference away.
I would be glad to.

Now, removing ourselves from format of "teller and audience" to "narrator and person-who-is-narrated-to", wherein I get all the attention, and you get none, we will continue.
I went running today.
And found in running that when I hit a particular hill, I slowed down.
Yes, that would make sen-
Dah! I said it was narrator only speaking. You're not in this.
Oops, sorry. :P
Hmph, I hope you are.
Where was I?
Yes, running.
I always used to run in fast short spurts and long-distance jogging, interspersed with walking.
Walking usually occurred at the hills :D
But as I ran with Joseph over break, and then tried on my own, I found it far more beneficial to do smooth, even jogging all the way through, big hills, slopes, cliffs, etc.
Why? I don't know for cliffs;
But I can explain for hills and slopes. So I hope that will do.
Going in fast spurts wears me down faster. Such that when I hit a huge hill, I cannot jog up.
At least not without falling over.
So, of course, when you're going down
you can go twice as fast; and
make up for your slowness
coming up, you say.
[Indignant stare]
I once thought the same, but foolishly so.
In going down, at a certain maximum velocity, we have the breaking point.
That is when your speed is so fast that your legs cannot keep up.
And when your legs cannot keep up, ... splat.
It's kind of like the Law of
Diminishing Returns, right?
No, not at all.
So, what has been discovered is the fact that I must go at an even pace,
such that hills only slow me down a little, and slopes only speed me up
So, in going even, steady, and consistent, you are most efficient.
Equally, long-distance running takes time to build up.
You running the same distance in a day that I do in a month
will not get you up to par with me,
As much as you'd like to think it would.
Long-distance running takes time to build up.
And this phenomenon is not just true for a running.

Schoolwork, eating, sleeping, practicing drawing, and almost
every kind of act takes us time to achieve
proficiency and then excellence.
We just cannot do it all-and-none
at once.
Maybe we can, but it will be harder,
and not as much fun.
So, slow and steady wins the race.
And here you were telling me
you didn't know the story.
...? I don't.
Well, you just told it to me.
Richard, you're crazy.
No, I'm not. The end of the story is what you said:
Sloan's Teddy wins the race.
That is so silly,
and a very bad pun.
Well, that's just how I am. :P

Silly thing about me: I had this pizza from the dining hall.
It was like spaghetti sauce and cheese.
Tasted good, but interesting
Silly thing about me:
(This is up to you)
Hope you enjoyed my silliness.
Love you all fams!
and fans, just not the same way.


  1. Isaac Asimov reference for de winz

  2. no way!! That was an Isaac Asimov story? :D
    I had no idea...
    That makes it all the cooler

  3. richard, your blogs alway surprise me ^^ I think I just never expected you to be the funny, quirky writer you are :D hahaha